Ben's Pokemon Black Adventures Day 1

Ah, another generation of Pokemon is upon us. It is time once again to catch 'em all. This time though, we'll only be seeing brand new Pokemon until the game is beaten. I'm kinda looking forward to that. So I thought I would catalog my adventures in Unovah complete with my own brand of snarky cynicism. Without further ado:

Ok, yada yada, we start with the standard introduction to the world of Pokemon. The only big difference is that this time the Pokemon professor is female. About time there was some equality in the field of doing absolutely nothing while sending young children out to do all of your work for you in a world filled with dangerous creatures, some of which can bend the very fabric of space time.

So, the story really starts with me in my room with people who are apparently my two best friends. One is a very smug jerk with glasses. The other is a very ditsy blond. They are also clearly my rivals. Sadly, I am unable to name them the incredibly immature names that I usually would. Therefore I am stuck with their default names of Cheren and Bianca. While these two were hanging out in my room, a package arrived that holds three Pokemon. They aren't wasting any time at all. It's time to pick my starter. These are my options:

A very smug looking grass snake:



A flaming pig:


And a OMG! look at the cute widdle otter!

So, I choose the otter, who is called Oshawatt. Cheren, the smug guy ends up with the smug snake Snivy, while Bianca chooses Tepig, the fire pig. Bianca challenges me to a battle, in which she somehow manages to completely wreck my room. I should be very pissed about this, but I seem to take it in stride. My mother seems ok with it too, and even says she'll clean up, before sending me off on an adventure. I just know she wants me to hurry up and leave so she can rent my room out.

After a quick trip to Professor Juniper's place, I walk away with Pokedex in hand, ready to become the world's greatest Pokemon master. You know, that thing that I've already done several times before. Me and my rivals (our bonds of friendship have been torn apart by fierce competition) decide to see who can catch the most Pokemon on the way to the next town. This is not difficult, as there are only two here:

A normal-type dog looking thing, Lillipup:

And Satan's Chipmunk, Patrat:
It's worth noting that Lillipup seems to be a ridiculously popular Pokemon in Unova. Seriously, everyone trainer I have met seems to be using one. Patrat is also popular among the evil(?) people I will get to in a minute.

So I reach the next town, and see that I have trounced my rivals in this catching competition, having taken the extra 30 seconds necessary to have caught two Pokemon. Sadly, this grants me no prize. Jerks. Onwards to town where Professor Milf, I mean Juniper wants to show us around the Pokemon Center. There have been some changes here since the last generation. Clearly, the Pokemon Centers realized that offering free health care to all Pokemon was simply not cost effective. Charging for the service would have caused public outcry. Thus it was decided that, to offset the costs, Pokemon Centers would start selling trainer supplies. This placed a squeeze on the local Pokemarts. With the one-stop shop convenience of the new Pokemon Centers, they were unable to compete and were driven out of business. Yes, another sad story of the large corporation picking on the little guy.

Once outside the Pokemon Center, we see a bunch of Knights Templar holding a demonstration. These particular knights call themselves Team Plasma and seek the freedom of all Pokemon. Hey, that...actually doesn't sound like such a bad idea. Could it be that we'll actually see some exploration of the fundamental moral dilemma behind the Pokemon series? Nah, they'll just turn out to be evil like every other Team in the series.

So, it's off the the next town for my first gym battle. I catch a klepto cat on the way called Purrloin:

In the next town there's the first gym. Time to take it on. But first things first. A little exploration of the surrounding area finds a mysterious woman handing out monkeys. Yes, for no apparent reason at all, she gives me a flaming monkey called Pansear:
As far as I'm concerned, though, this monkey has got nothing on Chimchar. Oh well, armed with my new flaming monkey, I decide it's time to tackle the gym. The gym leader is a jerk, though. There's actually three of them. They ask me what I kind of Pokemon I got at the start and make me fight the one that has the Pokemon it is weak to. Thank god I got the flaming monkey, then, as I had to take on the grass type. I managed to make short work of this gym, and now it's time to move on.

A quick detour brought me back to the place where the lady was handing out monkeys. This time I had an HM and could cut down the tree blocking the abandoned building. Once inside, a completely nonsensical scene takes place where Team Plasma harasses a pink blob for some "Dream Mist," whatever the hell that is. Before leaving this odd place, I managed to catch one of whatever the hell this thing is (Audino):

Moving on. The trek to the next town takes me past the daycare center. No hot Skitty on Wailord action for me, right now. I have bigger fish to fry. My trek to the west is interrupted by the sounds of panic, as Bianca comes running up with a little girl whose Pokemon have been stolen by Team Plasma. This sounds like a job for: Me and Cheren, I guess. But first, I'm gonna waste some time catching some more Pokemon. I pick myself up a little bird thing (the Pidgey of this generation?) called Pidove:
and an electric zebra (yes, that's right, an electric zebra) called BlitzleAt this point, I decide the stolen Pokemon can wait, since I've got other things to do. What will become of our intrepid hero, Ben? Will Cheren ever realize he has a stupid name? Will just what the heck Audino is ever be answered? Find out next time (maybe?) on Ben's Pokemon Black Adventures.

Movie Review: Public Enemies

Welcome to the first of what will be a regular feature on my blog. Anyone that knows me know that I love movies. I love to write about them too. So as I see new movies, I'll share my thoughts on them, since I know you all care so much.


Public Enemies is the very definition of style over substance. This is one fantastic looking film. Unfortunately, the story cannot hold up. Director Michael Mann has wowed me before with films like Heat and Collateral, but while he shows his mastery of style here, his characters and story never ring true. (Ironic, considering they're based on real events.)

Set in 1934, the movie follows the adventures of John Dillinger (Johnny Depp) as he robs his way across the midwest. Depp is one of the most talented and versatile actors of our time. It's sad then, that even though he has incredible screen presence, he can never make us truly care about John Dillinger. Now, I know it's asking a lot to care about a robber and a murdered, but Dillinger, in his time, was seen as a sort of mythical Robin Hood figure. In this film, Dillinger is just there. We are not given any glimpses into his psyche, or any indication of who he is or his motives. Sadly, there is also little to no mention of the public reaction, whether it be glorify or villifying him. The same can be said for FBI agent Melvin Purvis (Christian Bale.) I'm just going to come out and say it: Christian Bale is incredibly over rated as an actor. Ever since he donned the batsuit, he seems to have lost his ability to display any kind of emotion in his characters. His John Connor was boring, and now his Purvis is as well. If I said we get little insight into what makes John Dillinger tick, then we get practically nothing on Purvis. These were real people, yet they feel here like cardboard cutouts. They are characters simply playing out an already established set of events.

Despite these plays, the movie is still a compelling visceral experience. Every frame is packed full of style. The recreation of 1930s era Chicago is something to be commended. Much ado has been made about the film being shot entirely in digital. I have none of the complaints about muted colors or blurred motion that so many others seem to have. In fact I have to say it's one of the best looking films I've seen all year. As for the handheld camera, it's very conservative compared to most films these days. Films like Transformers, the Bourne series, and Quantum of Solace make so much use of the handheld camera, that oftentimes you cannot tell what is even going on. While I still don't think it's perfect (I did have difficulty telling anyone in Dillinger's gang but Dillinger himself apart) it's nothing that brings down the movie.

For pure summer action fare, I enjoyed Public Enemies. Sadly, the film is emotionally hollow. There is no real drama to be had. We are only shown the events that played out, without any insight into the characters or their motivations. If you're looking for a way to kill a couple hours this weekend, you could do a whole lot worse than Public Enemies ( Case in point: Transformers is just a theater over) but if you're looking for a great drama, look elsewhere.

Welcome to Ben's blog!

Hello, friends, enemies, and wanderers. This is my place for all my nerdy ramblings. Video games, movies, toys, television, etc. If it's geeky, I probably like it. Stop back every so often to see how much of a nerd I am, and maybe you'll be entertained.